Horror Queen

Snakes…on a submarine.

PLOT

Luke Perry is a Navy officer that’s almost ready to retire and spend the rest of his many years with his young daughter. He’s called upon to pick up a scientist and an assistant who are working on a top secret project on an island in the middle of nowhere. Cut to Krista Allen as the scientist, who’s actually working on breeding several types of snakes to create a massive hybrid snake. Her assistant cunningly sneaks several specimens back onto the submarine, where of course they get loose. Allen offers up the anti-venom, but when it fails to work, the crew must locate all the snakes. Um and they’re being chased by the Chinese military for veering into their waters…

TRIVIA

Krista Allen previously starred in Feast.

THOUGHTS

I knew exactly how to explain this movie to my friends: It’s snakes…on a submarine…with Luke Perry. Suddenly my Facebook page was a hubbub of activity, as people came out of the woodwork wanting to know what it was called and where it came from. I have no doubt that Wal-Mart saw their inventory of Silent Venom drop by several copies. Silent Venom is one of those movies that you have to watch with friends because it’s nearly impossible to sit through alone. When you do watch it with your friends, I guarantee that you’ll have a good time.

Wal-Mart strikes again.

PLOT

Tom Sizemore leads a group of workers that clean out places and make money on the side by selling what they find. When they’re called into clean up an abandoned hospital, they think only of the profit to be made. That is until a giant rat type creature crawls out of the sewer and starts picking them off one by one. Apparently a scientist created a serum that he accidentally took and turned himself into a huge monster. The first thing he ate was a rat and now he has all the same characteristics of one. Oh and there’s a millionaire trapped in the hospital too.

TRIVIA

The making of the movie was documented in the reality show “Shooting Sizemore” and showed the actor quitting the production after filming only a few days, but then later joining the cast again.

THOUGHTS

Bottom Feeder is the perfect example of what I expect to get when I go foraging through the Wal-Mart cheapo racks at Halloween. Is this a great movie? Hell no. Was I thoroughly entertained? Absolutely and I put a lot of that on Tom Sizemore. This guy is such a great character that you can’t help but watch him when he’s on screen. There are a few really funny scenes (intentional and not) and the acting is a lot better than you’d expect. I probably won’t be whipping this one out and making my friends watch it every year, but I think they’d get a kick out of it…on the first viewing anyway.

Hmm…

PLOT

Mom (she has no character name) is tired of staying home and taking care of three children under the age of 10, while her husband heads off on long-term truck driving jobs. On his most recent visit home, she begs him to stay longer and points out that he’ll miss his oldest son Jimmy’s next game. Dad (with no name either) begs off, claiming he’ll be there for the next game and that she’ll be fine. That same night, after dad leaves, Mom looses her marbles and drowns one of her children, while the others run. Jimmy steps up to the bat and tries to help his siblings escape, even as he deals with the glimpses of his “real” mom that come out.

TRIVIA

Based on a true story, in that it took elements of the Andrea Yates’ case.

THOUGHTS

Baby Blues is kind of a rough movie. It feels a little too realistic at times, especially considering some of the post-partum depression stories hitting the news. The dad is an extremely unlikable character, given what he put his kids and wife through. Then there’s the ending, which literally had me yelling at the television. It seems unbelievable, but then at the same time it’s completely realistic given what the characters were like through the rest of the movie.

Not too bad…

PLOT

A group of college students agree to spend a weekend on an island in the middle of nowhere, with a couple that plans on teaching them more about movie making. What they don’t realize is that the couple is loco crazy and plans on killing each one on screen and turning the finished project into a horror movie. Their reasoning is that horror movies are big sellers, as are reality shows so the project will work great. There’s also some stereotypical characters such as the dorky girl (played by Danica McKeller!) who everyone else picks on and the popular guy who actually likes the dorky girl.

TRIVIA

Juliet Landau previously starred on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and appeared in The Tool Box Murders.

THOUGHTS

When you buy a set of three movies for $5 from Wal-Mart at Halloween, you don’t really expect a lot, which is why Hack! surprised me. I put it on planning to watch a few minutes before bed and sat through the whole thing. It’s low budget, but there were big parts of the movie where I managed to forget about that. I found myself frequently getting caught up in the movie and forgetting about everything else that needed to be done the next day. If you get a chance, or see the set at Wal-Mart, go ahead and grab it.

Eh…

PLOT

Mark is a farmer living in South Africa who meets and falls for the beautiful Stacy. The two decide to get married and she abandons her own career to stay with him. The two have a fantastic life together until the day that Mark’s car flips and he dies from the accident. Mark starts appearing to her and tries to convince her that she should commit suicide so they can be together forever. After a botched attempt, she realizes that she’s pregnant. The baby is born and Mark not only keeps appearing, but she begins wondering if he’s haunting her son since the baby does weird things like watching her longingly in the bathtub. Stacy quickly realizes (well not too quickly) that she must put her past behind her to move on.

TRIVIA

Released overseas first before being released in the United States.

THOUGHTS

Originally I planned to say that I didn’t like Ghost Son, but now I’m reconsidering. It’s actually not too bad and it stars two people I like: Laura Herring (who I used to watch on daytime television) and John Hannah. The movie moves at a slow pace, which I’m typically not a fan of and I felt like I was waiting for something big to happen, just based on the description. That something big never really happens. You also have to deal with a fairly low budget and scenes of Hannah sitting by himself and brooding as a ghost, which is almost funny. It’s not great, but far from the worst thing I saw this year.

One of my faves…

PLOT

The movie begins with a teenage girl running through the woods and trying to survive as a serial killer takes down her friends. It then jumps five years ahead where the same girl, Molly, is now studying forensic psychology at an unnamed college campus. Only her professor, Marshall Kane, and another student know who she is because she keeps her past a secret. Molly and five others are placed in the same study group, but when the students start dying, they notice that the murders fit the same pattern used by Jack the Ripper. They find themselves forced to work together before everyone ends up dead.

TRIVIA

The original cut of Ripper Letter from Hell received an NC-17 rating in the U.S. The director cut some of the death scenes to get an R rating.

Actors Emmanuel Vaugier (Saw 2) and Kelly Brook both appeared on “Smallville” as the love interest for Lex Luthor in different seasons.

THOUGHTS

Though it may seem odd, Ripper Letter from Hell is actually one of my all-time favorite horror movies and has been since I saw it when it was first released on DVD. I saw it once and bought it a few weeks later. There’s something about this movie that I really like and it might be the storyline. Plus I’d love to attend classes at their school! I’m surprised that the producers made a sequel to it, just because it doesn’t seem that well known. I know a lot of horror movie fans who have never seen the movie before. If you haven’t seen this one, I highly recommend it.

Took long enough!

PLOT

Claire Summers is a psychotherapist that’s called into help with a series of people who survived a recent plane crash. Through therapy sessions and one on one meetings, she starts getting close with a passenger named Eric. Eric makes odd comments and seems to know more about her than he should, which leads Claire to think that he might have some psychic powers. The two keep growing closer, even as everyone who survived the crash dies. Claire begins to suspect that the deaths and disappearances are the result of the airline covering up the crash, but the real truth is much worse.

TRIVIA

Passengers was originally slated for release last year, was pushed back and eventually only released in a few theaters before landing on DVD.

THOUGHTS

All right, I really wanted to see Passengers and have since the first time I saw a trailer. I kept waiting on a release date (much like the Sarah Michelle Gellar/Michael Landon movie that permanently sits on my Netflix wish list), but never heard a word until I walked into Hollywood Video and saw it sitting on the shelf. I read a lot of reviews about this movie that made it seem horrible, but I actually liked it. Anne Hathaway and Patrick Wilson have a lot of chemistry together and the secondary cast is a lot better than you’d expect. It’s more of a thriller than a horror flick, but enjoyable nonetheless.

No clue…

PLOT

Yul and Melissa are a newlywed couple, spending their honeymoon in China. Melissa wanted a romantic trip to someplace hot, but her husband wanted to honor his heritage. Their driver Ping takes them to a street festival, where they help honor the dead by paying to take part in different ceremonies. After bringing Ping back a few gifts, he gets teary eyed and decides to take them to a remote area where they can meet his family. Once there, he feigns confusion and wanders off, claiming he needs to find directions. When he doesn’t return, the couple set out on their own, only to have a naked (and creepy looking) guy run out in front of the car. Turns out the couple is caught in a ceremony where a sacrifice is made every seventh moon on the seventh month and they’re the next sacrifices.

TRIVIA

Part of the Ghost House Underground series.

THOUGHTS

The funniest thing that happened while watching this movie was that my boyfriend’s best friend wandered into the room, saw Amy Smart and promptly sat down on the floor and watched the whole movie. Those two really liked the movie, but I felt fairly confused. The problem is that the movie is really dark, like they didn’t use enough light when filming it and I couldn’t see what the hell was going on half the time. I heard screaming and moaning so I assumed it was something bad, but I couldn’t tell you what. I get that the movie was filmed at night, but the lighting or the transfer made it fairly hard to watch.

It’s a croc!

PLOT

Pete is an American tourist who decides to take part on a river cruise in Australia, while writing a new travel article. The group, led by Kate, has a good time until they come across two locals who basically act like jackasses. They find a boat stranded in the water and in obvious distress, but before they can do anything, something attacks their boat. The group finds their way to an island in the river, but the water is quickly rising and something attacks, kills and eats a member of the group. The two locals return and after one gets eaten, the other joins the group. They must defend themselves and hope for a way out before the island is covered with water…and before they’re all eaten by a giant crocodile.

TRIVIA

Based in part on Sweetheart, which was a crocodile in Australia that was spotted in the 1970s when it attacked boats.

THOUGHTS

If you read the Horror Queen even semi-regularly, then you know that I can’t resist cheap horror movies. That makes it bad when you consider that I run a flea market booth on the weekends and that I’m surrounded by people selling $2-3 horror movies…like Rogue. Rogue isn’t necessarily a bad movie, but it suffers from a lack of killer crocodile, being that it’s a movie about a killer croc. There are entire scenes involving the croc where we don’t get to see anything. Then there’s an ending, which left me rolling my eyes. I’ve seen a lot of movies about killer animals and this one is better than most, but that’s not saying a lot.

I knew a remake was coming!

PLOT

Boy preacher Isaac convinces a group of kids in the small town of Gatlin, Nebraska that everyone over the age of 19 is steeped in sin (as per dreams sent by God/He Who Walks Behind the Rows) so they slaughter all their parents and other adults in town. Twelve years later, Vietnam vet Burt is traveling down a Nebraska road with his unhappy wife Vicky. The two fight, a kid runs out in the road, they hit him and Burt discovers that he had his throat slashed beforehand. When the couple arrive in town, they come face to face with the kids and realize that they might not make it out alive.

TRIVIA

Stephen King was sent a copy of the screenplay, but returned it without reading it and despite sharing a writing credit, has never seen the Children of the Corn remake.

THOUGHTS

I was in Kentucky for a family reunion when this originally aired on the Syfy Channel and I watched about 15 minutes of it before I got distracted by family members. When I saw it on the Wal-Mart shelf, I decided to just go ahead and buy a copy. I can’t say I’m disappointed, nor can I say that I’m that happy. Children of the Corn is definitely better than the original, but the character of Vicky is so annoying that I couldn’t wait for her to die. My former Marine boyfriend was about to climb in the television and bitch slap her for the comments made about a vet (saying that he killed the kid on purpose, mocking him for killing women and kids during the war, etc.). Had they made her just a little more sympathetic, I think I would have liked this a lot more.