Horror Queen

Not as good as I expected.

PLOT

Yoshimi decides Ikuko into an old, decrepit looking apartment building where the rain constantly seems to flow. It’s her only choice as she’s in the middle of a bitter divorce and needs a home to gain custody of her daughter. Once there, she starts to notice odd things like water stains on the ceiling and a little girl that no one else sees. Yoshimi realizes that she needs to find out the truth about the old little girl if she hopes to save her own child.

TRIVIA

Hideo Nakata who directed this movie, also directed the original Ring and Ring 2.

Based on a short story called Floating Water.

THOUGHTS

I was actually a little surprised to discover that I didn’t like the original Dark Water. In fact, I actually kind of like the American remake a lot better. Yoshimi is completely worthless here and she just kind of floats around the whole time. Her roof’s leaking and she calls the super once to complain and then kind of forgets about it. She also seems like a pretty horrible mother and the authorities probably should have given her daughter to the father.

There’s also the ridiculous and pointless ending, which thankfully they left off the Dark Water remake. It made me roll my eyes and reach for the remote. However, the cinematography is great and some of the scenes are actually a little creepy at times.

Forgot about it!PLOT

There’s a man who can go into the dream world and help those who need it. Don’t look for any names here because I really didn’t learn anyone’s name. A female detective is working on a case where people commit suicide, but only after dialing 0 on their cell phone. She’s looked down upon by those around her because she just recently transferred into the group. Eventually she and her team have to turn to the dream walker from the beginning for help. They hope that with his expertise, they can uncover what’s really happening.

TRIVIA

There’s actually a sequel supposed to come out soon, with some of the same characters returning.

It was released theatrically in Japan, but went straight to DVD in the US as part of the Dimension Extreme line.

THOUGHTS

I sat down to watch this movie one night and about the 15 minute mark I realized that I’d seen it before. I have no clue when or where I saw it, but I’m assuming it was about a year ago when I was going through a heavy Asian horror obsession. The sad part is that I didn’t like it then and I liked it even less the second time around.

Nightmare Detective has a lot of fans. It’s got a lot of gore and a few fairly gruesome scenes, but for me the whole thing is too slow paced and not enough happens. I had a hard time relating to any of the main characters and I didn’t like any of them.

Oh. My. God.

PLOT

In a near future Japan, teenage girls are turning into zombies. When they reach the age of 16, they experience a “Near Death Happiness (NDH)” that turns them into killer zombies. A group of other teens form their own mercenary squad, to kill the girls that their families can’t. Another group of people are also killing the teens, while a doctor hopes to find a cure or at least has fun experimenting on the technically dead girls.

TRIVIA

Makes references to both Bruce Campbell and George Romero.

THOUGHTS

It’s been a long time since I saw a horror movie that made me laugh this much, but I couldn’t tell if it was intentional or not. For days after we saw the movie, my friend and I would just look at each other, say NDH and start giggling hysterically. The NDH itself seems like a reference to sex, or at least a first orgasm, but they never identify that for sure. There’s also an irritating subplot about a girl who hasn’t yet turned that just seems to turn up and giggle a whole lot. The ending was ridiculous too and a little creepy or gross if you give it too much thought!

Why I shouldn’t listen to people who recommend movies…

THE PLOT

The movie opens on an extremely long warning, don’t show this to people under the age of 18 due to the graphic depictions of violence. Then it leads into an even longer back story about a Japanese artist who received a “fan letter” along with a series of photographs and a snuff film about exactly what he did. Supposedly this movie is based on what he saw. A woman is walking home one night when she’s attacked and drugged by a madman. Well, what did she expect? She was wearing a pair of do me pumps (not my term, I prefer the f*ck me heels). She wakes to find herself tied to a bed and the man sharpening his blades, ready to begin her greatest nightmare.

FUN TRIVIA

Charlie Sheen actually saw a few scenes from this movie and was convinced it was a real snuff film. He called the authorities and learned it was already under investigation in the US as well as several other countries.

THOUGHTS/OPINIONS

So, he fakes killing a chicken. Really, is that supposed to be gruesome? Sorry, but I actually have seen a real life chicken running around with its head cut off back when I stayed on a farm. That was a far more disturbing experience than this.

The problem is that it just feels very fake and looks incredibly unrealistic. First of all he seemingly chops through a woman’s hand (bone and all) with a knife that doesn’t even look like it can cut butter. If you look at the “hand”, it looks about as realistic as a Barbie arm. Then you have a woman who’s had both hands chopped off and she’s not only alive, but opens her eyes and looks around. Sorry sweetie, but you lose that much blood and you’re dead.

There was only one scene that really made me think gee that’s kind of gross. The man is very slowly dissecting her arm from the rest of her body, using only a chisel and hammer. It was a little disturbing, but then it went right back into the unrealistic side of things. Suddenly the woman’s missing both arms, still alive and still moving. On top of that, he’s obviously done nothing to cauterize the wounds and yet she’s stopped bleeding. Yes and there is one scene where he’s kind of playing around with her internal organs, that was a bit much.

Sometimes there’s a movie that makes you say, “why do I even bother?”. This would be that one for me. Hopefully some others from the Guinea Pig series will make up for this piece of garbage. I have no idea why anyone would think this looked real.

Not really a sequel…

THE PLOT

Joey has recently ended a relationship with Sam, who she still loves in a slightly stalker/obsessive way. She calls him frequently, buys him gifts and even waits outside his office for him. One day she spends a large amount of money, goes back to her hotel room and swallows almost a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Of course if you do that you’re not going to kill yourself, just make yourself sick and that’s what happens to Joey. She wakes to find the dead surrounding her, though she doesn’t realize at first what’s happening. After learning she’s pregnant she finds that the ghosts are real and that they have an unhealthy obsession with the women in her classes.

FUN TRIVIA

As is becoming increasingly popular, The Eye 2 is slated for an American remake. Actress Renee Zellwegger has expressed interest in starring.

THOUGHTS/OPINIONS

When a movie is titled The Eye 2, you kind of assume it’s going to have some kind of connection to the original. If Mun didn’t come back, then maybe they’d do another transplant story. Instead we have an immature young woman as someone who tries to kill herself and starts seeing ghosts. Joey was really hard to root for here. When she goes to the hospital after her suicide attempt, we discover that she’s attempted it before several times. Then she spends hours pining over her ex-boyfriend who she dumped, but now wants back. We’ve all been there before, but sometimes a guy just needs time. And when she learns she’s pregnant, her first thought is to have an abortion.

Slowly I started to feel something for her. Her doctor tells her that she’s had too many “procedures” in the past and he won’t approve an abortion because it will prevent her from ever having children in the future. At first I was thinking she needed to learn how a condom works, but then the doctor points out that she’s only had one abortion in the past so then I realized he just needs a few more years in medical school.

Then there was a scene where she’s brutally attacked by a stranger that drugs her and carries her to a local park. She seemingly blacks out and comes to in the hospital. The nurses ask about her medical history because they need to tend to her victim. In her black out state she apparently attacked the man, biting his face so severely that he needed over 40 stitches. She learns that he was a serial rapist and sees her destructive side firsthand.

It was a little odd that everyone seemed to know just by looking at her that she was pregnant, even before she knew. Random strangers kept commenting on it and she’d just smile or say she wasn’t because she literally didn’t know she was pregnant.

The horror here is a little subtle and I have to admit that I wasn’t crazy about the movie. I really loved the original version of The Eye and someone recommended this one to me, claiming it was even better. Yeah, not in my eyes. There is a point to this movie, but it takes a really long time working up to that. It’s about life and death and reincarnation, but the movie is already ¾ of the way over by the time it gets there.

There is a nice little twist in regards to the ghost following her around, which I should have seen coming. I didn’t expect it though so it was fairly surprising. The ending was pretty unrealistic and a little silly at times, but I guess it was the way it was supposed to end or probably the only choice they had. I’m not a fan of this one, though I can see why others like it.

She’s been lost for years, but they’re here to save her.

BATTLE ROYALE IIThose teens just haven’t learned their lesson.

Thought the Jessica Alba flick was original? Ha-ha, silly bird.

ONE MISSED CALL (ORIGINAL)

ONE MISSED CALL FINALSadly I never knew they made two sequels to One Missed Call in Japan and so far I’ve only been able to see the original and this one. Hopefully at some point I’ll see the middle movie and let you know what I think.THE PLOTA group of high school students from Japan travel to Korea on a class trip. One of their previous classmates, Pam, committed suicide but that doesn’t seem to matter since they didn’t really like her. This isn’t me being a smartass either, but pointing out the reasoning of the movie. They begin to receive picture messages on their cell phones, showing someone dying and they think it’s a big joke. At least they think it’s a joke until they each start dying. Like the other movies in the series, the messages come from the next day and from cell phones that didn’t send the message. In a twist from the original, those who get the call can forward it to someone else and spare themselves for the time being.