Oct
24
2009
What the heck? Part 2.
PLOT
Satan’s Bed follows a former drug dealer who now works as an immigration officer as he lusts over a mail order bride, particular an Asian since he thinks he can control her more easily. He finally sends off for one, and Yoko Ono makes her way into the movie. Not long after arriving in the United States, she’s kidnapped by a group of men for no apparent reason. They start torturing her in every way possible, while she does very little. Oh yeah and there’s a bunch of unrelated scenes showing a group of people attacking suburban housewives.
THOUGHTS
After watching Satan’s Bed, the first thing that came to mind was, “I’ve never seen so many naked women on-screen before…not even in porn”. Seriously, it seemed like every few minutes another naked woman turned up, plus there was a whole scene with two women making out that didn’t even seem to fit. It probably didn’t since the director actually spliced together two movies for this one. I guess if you want to see Yoko before she turned into the weirdest woman alive, then you have a good reason to watch Satan’s Bed.
Oct
23
2009
What the heck?
PLOT
Two guys living in New York decide that the only way to get a little nookie is to scare the pants off women. Apparently they’ve never heard of bars or prostitutes. They start grabbing women off the street, taking them home and doing horrible things to them. Eventually the girls pass out because of their fear and the guys can finally get a little sex.
THOUGHTS
I watched Scare Their Pants Off and felt myself feeling more than a little confused because I have no idea what the hell happened. The movie bounces around a lot and you’re left wondering who’s doing what and where and to who. I grabbed this movie last year, lost in during a move and just now found it and sat through it. Now all I can do is wonder who the hell created this one.
Feb
28
2009
A twosome, but not necessarily gruesome.
PLOT
Mrs. Pringle runs a wig shop with her mentally handicapped son. The only thing her customers don’t realize is that her wigs are made of real human hair. She advertises as rooms for rent, only to have her son scalp the girls who come into the shop. A college student by the name of Kathy finally decides to investigate the goings on in the little shop when one of her good friends disappears after going to the same shop.
TRIVIA
Director Herschell Gordon Lewis did a number of other movies during the 1960s and 1970s that were released through Something Weird including the original Wizard of Gore.
THOUGHTS
The whole idea of The Gruesome Twosome doesn’t even work if you think about it too much like I did. Did none of these girls ever tell someone where they were going? Did the police, neighbors, locals not find it odd that they had a room for rent and no one ever took it? Why did they advertise as having rooms (plural) and no one found that strange? See, I told you I think too much!
The Gruesome Twosome is just plain odd. One minute there’s a group of girls talking about the mysterious disappearance of girls on campus and the next thing you know, they’re dancing around their room while eating fried chicken…seriously.
Still the movie is kind of good, cheesy fun. It’s not scary in any way, but it’s interesting and short so it’s easy to sit through. The murder scenes are fairly cheesy and not the best. I probably won’t remember this movie in the future, but that’s okay.
Dec
08
2008
Never trust a beautiful woman…
THE PLOT
Andre is on his rounds in France during the 1700s when his eye gets caught by a beautiful young woman. He stops to talk to her and when she doesn’t speak or refuses to speak, he feels even more intrigued. Eventually he travels to a large castle where he comes across the Baron Van Leppe. The Baron denies there is a woman living there, though Andre is sure she must be. He finds a painting of the woman, only to learn she died two decades before. Is Andre seeing a ghost or is there something else going on?
FUN TRIVIA
Roger Corman went on to direct and produce a number of horror movie gems following this one while legendary actor Boris Karloff who portrayed the Baron, died just six years later. Also look for a young Jack Nicholson as Andre.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
This movie suffers quite a bit from age, which is strange considering that other Corman films don’t have the same problem. There’s also an issue with pacing in that everything seems really slow. The characters will look at each other and you could swear minutes had passed since they last spoke. I know a lot of people really love this movie or at least like it, but I couldn’t focus on it. It seemed to just plod along until it finally ended without anything really ever happening. Just as a minor complaint, Nicholson sounds exactly the same here as he does in every other movie he ever did, which makes it hard for me to buy him as a French soldier.
Oct
28
2008
They’re coming to get you Barbara….
THE PLOT
Barbara and her brother Johnny are stopping to see their father’s grave when they notice a man acting funny. The man is actually a zombie who attacks her brother and Barbara runs to an abandoned farmhouse for shelter. There she encounters Ben who not only saves her life, but helps her recover from her shock. As the zombies continue to attack, they find a small group of survivors still alive in the basement of the house. The small group has to band together to stay alive until help can arrive.
FUN TRIVIA
All that blood you see is actually chocolate syrup.
Pay close attention and you’ll notice that at no point do any of the characters refer to the zombies as “zombies”.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
Look, I’m not going to write a paper here and talk about the social impact of this movie or how it was used as propaganda. I’m also not going to say anything about the movie acting as social commentary for the things going on at the time because frankly I don’t think you give a damn. All I’m going to say is that this is a good movie that actually holds up well over the years. The ending still gets to me in the way the ending to Easy Rider does, kind of shocking and unexpected regardless of how many times I see it. Don’t call yourself a horror movie fan until you’ve seen this one. Then we can talk.
Oct
25
2008
William Castle and Vincent Price are a winning combination.
THE PLOT
Frederick Loren brings five people to the house on haunted hill to play a game: anyone who makes it through the night will get $10,000. The only catch is that the house is supposedly haunted and his wife wants him dead. As the night progresses the guests see things they shouldn’t see and fight just to make it to morning.
FUN TRIVIA
House on Haunted Hill inspired Alfred Hitchcock to create his own horror movie. The result? Psycho.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
Yes, there are some ridiculous scenes in this movie. For example when a “ghost” runs by and you can clearly tell it’s a mannequin on a dolly or a pulley. Those moments happen quite a few times here, but the movie is better than a lot of other ones created during this time period. Plus you can never go wrong with Vincent Price. If I’m honest with myself though, I’d rather watch the House on Haunted Hill remake several times before I’d sit down and watch this one again.
Oct
19
2008
See what happens when you don’t change your will?
THE PLOT
Louise and her husband John are out on a boat in the middle of a lake when he has a sudden heart attack and dies. Knowing that her mother-in-law will die soon and that she won’t get a penny if her husband is dead, Louise pretends he’s still alive and heads off to the family estate where she meets his brother Richard. The family had lost a daughter years before and people seem almost afraid of mentioning her name. Louise continues to get closer to the family, but fears what might happen if she uncovers the true secret about what happened to the daughter.
FUN TRIVIA
This film uses a lot of the same sets and actors as the Roger Corman film The Young Racers, which was shooting at the same time because Francis Ford Coppula was working on that film while directing this one.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
This was the first time I ever saw this movie and I’m not sure why I even bothered. There was something about the movie that I didn’t like, something that made me want to just turn it off and forget about it. It may have been the very poor transfer of the copy I saw, which made some things a little hard to see. Whatever it was though, I don’t think I’ll be watching it again.
Oct
18
2008
Watch where you stay…
THE PLOT
Nan is a young college student writing a paper on witchcraft and the witches who were burned at the stake. She travels to a small inn to do some more research and experiences some strange things like time going too fast. When she disappears, another young woman she once befriended goes to Nan’s professor to ask about her. Patricia’s grandfather lives in the town, but she has no idea of what her neighbors are doing. Patricia, the professor and Nan’s fiancé work together to find out the truth about what happened to the young woman.
FUN TRIVIA
Christopher Lee already had a handful of horror movie credits under his name when he starred here as the professor and would later go on to play in several other horror movies.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
This is a movie that most people will see once and forget or disregard. I myself found that I actually did enjoy this movie. The ending is more than a little lame, especially with the man raising the cross while clearly dying. There’s also that very sexist attitude that people had during the 1960s, such as one character suggesting a female is simply hysterical and not to be believed. Yet it has a very charming quality that you don’t often find in horror movies.
