Apr 19 2009
SANTA’S SLAY
The first few minutes are the best.
PLOT
The most awesome family in the world sit down for Christmas dinner. There’s daddy James Caan, sexy step-mom Fran Drescher, horny step-son Chris Kattan, Rebecca Gayheart and two other daughters. Suddenly Santa Claus bursts into the room and kills them all. He then goes to Hell Townships, kills a bunch of strippers and basically sets off on a killing spree. Nicholas is a teenage boy who lives with his grandpa who everyone thinks is nuts. His grandpa later shows his The Book of Claus, which shows that Santa was the virgin birth son of Satan. An angel beat Santa in a game and sentenced him to 1,000 years of gift giving. Nicholas and his friend Mary cross paths with Santa and the fat man ain’t happy. Nicholas has to figure out his family’s connection to good old Saint Nick and survive until the end of Christmas.
TRIVIA
Former wrestler Bill Goldberg plays Santa and uses some of his signature wrestling movies when doing his killings.
THOUGHTS
If this whole movie had been like the first 10 minutes or so, I would have been a lot happier. That opening scene is pretty great, if only for Jimmy Caan going up against Goldberg. On that note, I didn’t realize it was Goldberg until the last 20 minutes or so, which made me feel a little stupid. The movies does have a few nice kills scenes like the death of the Jewish butcher, but there was something about it that I didn’t like. I wasn’t reaching for the remote or anything, but there were definitely a few slow spots that I could do without. Then again, I have an intense dislike for Emile DeRaven and having her turn up as a major character (Mary) probably had something to do with it.
