Horror Queen

A twosome, but not necessarily gruesome.

PLOT

Mrs. Pringle runs a wig shop with her mentally handicapped son. The only thing her customers don’t realize is that her wigs are made of real human hair. She advertises as rooms for rent, only to have her son scalp the girls who come into the shop. A college student by the name of Kathy finally decides to investigate the goings on in the little shop when one of her good friends disappears after going to the same shop.

TRIVIA

Director Herschell Gordon Lewis did a number of other movies during the 1960s and 1970s that were released through Something Weird including the original Wizard of Gore.

THOUGHTS

The whole idea of The Gruesome Twosome doesn’t even work if you think about it too much like I did. Did none of these girls ever tell someone where they were going? Did the police, neighbors, locals not find it odd that they had a room for rent and no one ever took it? Why did they advertise as having rooms (plural) and no one found that strange? See, I told you I think too much!

The Gruesome Twosome is just plain odd. One minute there’s a group of girls talking about the mysterious disappearance of girls on campus and the next thing you know, they’re dancing around their room while eating fried chicken…seriously.

Still the movie is kind of good, cheesy fun. It’s not scary in any way, but it’s interesting and short so it’s easy to sit through. The murder scenes are fairly cheesy and not the best. I probably won’t remember this movie in the future, but that’s okay.

There’s no army, no militia and only bits and pieces of Boy Scouts left.

PLOT

Feast 3 literally picks up from the last movie and rehashes the last 3-5 minutes of that movie. Only this time Honey Pie (who clearly died at the end of the last movie) is now alive, for a few minutes at least. The rest of our group is still trapped on the roof of the building, but luckily they don’t stay there for very long before they get the chance to escape. Once they do, we meet new characters like the prophet.

TRIVIA

The characters of Bartender and Honey Pie have appeared in all three movies, but in this one they finally acknowledge what fans wondered about in the last installment. They make an in joke about the fact that the Bartender has died several times already.

THOUGHTS

Maybe it was just me, but Feast 3 seemed pretty long and slow compared to the other movies. I kind of zoned out for a large portion of the movie. Plus the other movies always had at least one scene that got me shocked or excited and this one didn’t have that. The guys out there might like the large number of scenes with the topless women (who keeps popping up), but she really wasn’t my cup of tea. It felt like the movie was just kind of going through and motions and though there was a lot of blood/gore, I was just waiting for it to end.

Hosted by Tom Savini, this documentary looks into the phenomenon of Friday the 13^th and the serial slasher character Jason Vorhees. They bring in actors from the entire series (all the way up to Freddy Vs. Jason), directors, screenwriters and producers, plus actors and writers that are just fans of the series. They discuss in depth the idea of Jason and how the Friday the 13^th series came about and changed over the years.

I have to admit that I got a little excited when I saw Kevin Spiritas turn up, talking about part 7. This guy has been in several horror movies over the years (though not always under the same name) and he just gets better looking, the older he gets. I had a crush on him back in college when he was on “Days of Our Lives” and I really like him. In all the special features/docs on the series, he never turns up, but here he was in this one. Plus they bring in the guy from “Psych” to talk about who he rooted for in Freddy Vs. Jason. Does it make sense? No. Was in interesting? Of course! I also got a little too excited to see Seth Green, which says a lot about me.

They do spend a segment of the movie discussing the psychology behind Jason and why he killed, which they claimed the audience needed to know and wanted to know. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t care about that stuff. I like my serial killers like I like my men, evil for no good reason. You don’t need to know everything and there doesn’t have to be some deep, hidden, secret reason. For me that’s where Halloween went down hill, when they tried to do the whole hidden reason.

The other downside is that Tom Savini is in here way too much, patting himself on the back. I get it dude, but it’s time to move on. He must have been a producer or something on this because they bring him up too much. Worth it though because this was pretty interesting.

He’s back! And be brought the chick from Saw!

PLOT

The movie opens with a boy in a mental hospital telling his doctor (played by Shawnee Smith) about the curse and how she’s coming for him. She tells him he’ll be fine, sends him to bed and leaves, only to get a call later that night that something weird is going on. She comes back to find him twisted in dozens of ways and obviously dead. The film then shifts to Rose, a little girl who’s eagerly waiting for her sister Lisa, who’s off with her boyfriend. The couple’s about to leave town so they’re humping like bunnies. Their brother Max is the super and I’m assuming that this is supposed to be the apartment building from the last movie. Rose also has an “imaginary” friend, a little boy who she leaves toys for in the hallway. We also get No’oko who’s moving from Japan to the building because she knows exactly what’s going on. Of course people start dying and the movie focuses on how to end the curse.

TRIVIA

Takashi Shiizu, who directed the Japanese and American versions of The Grudge acted as producer on this movie, though he was given the option to direct.

The ghosts of both the boy and the woman were played by different actors for the first time. s

THOUGHTS

Surprisingly enough The Grudge 3 wasn’t a horrible movie, at least not as bad as I was expecting. They actually established continuity between the movies and in a way that made sense, which you don’t often find in horror movies, especially straight to DVD sequels. I liked this one far better than the second one (which probably isn’t saying much) and I ended up getting drawn into the movie, wanting to know what was going to happen and hoping that the people I liked survived.

The one thing I didn’t like was that they tried to establish how the curse started, putting the blame on one of the Japanese characters and kind of taking some of the blame off the husband who murdered her in cold blood. Still it was a fairly good movie and I’m surprised they didn’t at least try to release it in the theaters, the production values were better than most straight to DVD horror movies. Plus they referenced the idea of ju-on, the name of the original movies, which is something they’ve never done before. When it comes out, give it a try.

Haha.

PLOT

Shelby is on a road trip with her boyfriend, who likes to talk with the truckers and join convoys to make the trip go faster. They meet up with two other drivers when something goes wrong. The movie then shifts to Tabitha, who’s back from college to baby-sit her cousins. The baby-sitter left the kids unexpectedly and she finds a huge clown doll waiting in her room. Of course you know her segment’s going to end badly. Tabitha remembers back to a little boy who was fairly warped in the head before the story jumps to Lisa. Then it revolves back around to how the three girls are connected.

TRIVIA

Screenwriter Jake Wade Wall also wrote the horror movies (remakes) When a Strange Calls and The Hitcher.

THOUGHTS

It took me a long time to get through this movie. I actually started watching it three different times before I could finish it and I thought it was just me. Then I heard a little more about it and I’m convinced it wasn’t just me. Apparently this movie was supposed to come out in theaters, but early reviews and test groups hated it so much that they pushed it back for a straight to DVD release.

That said, this isn’t actually a bad movie. It had a few good moments, like the end. The problem is that it felt slow at times, to the point where I was bouncing around just wanting something to happen. A friend who watched it said that he thought it was fast paced, so I’m not sure why I had such a different reaction. There was just something about it that I didn’t really like.

Semi-faux reality.

PLOT

The Poughkeepsie Tapes tells the story of a serial killer that ran around killing people and filming the murders. The videos were found in a house and the police were shocked by what they saw. The movie tells the story of what happened through videos and a documentary type slant where they talk to police, victims and other people related to the case.

TRIVIA

Apparently this movie technically hasn’t been released yet and there still isn’t a street date for when it will be available on DVD.

THOUGHTS

I read a review of this movie that said it would surprise you when you watched it. Well, I watched it and it didn’t surprise me at all. The killing scenes were interesting and better than you’d find in some of the bigger movies. However when it comes to the documentary scenes, the movie goes downhill fast. A lot of the actors look like they’ve never been in front of the camera before. Some people would say that they’re supposed to act that way because they’re playing normal people, but I don’t buy that. This is just inexperienced actors. Basically parts of the movie were good and parts sucked. There’s been other movies to tackle similar stories and they did a better job.

Not a terrible remake.

PLOT

Harry Warden killed a group of miners trapped in a cave in and then returned to kill a bunch of people partying in the same mine. Only three manage to escape: Tom, Axle and Sarah. Tom skips town and when he returns ten years to sell the mine, he discovers that Sarah married Axle, who’s now the town sheriff. As people start dying and bodies turn up,

TRIVIA

A remake of My Bloody Valentine.

Kerr Smith who plays Axle was on “Dawson’s Creek” as Jack, the best friend of Jenn who dated CJ during the last two seasons. CJ was played by Jensen Ackles, who played Tom in this movie.

THOUGHTS

It’s no secret that I absolutely love the original My Bloody Valentine. It’s one of my top 5 favorite horror movies of all time, though I couldn’t tell you why. I saw it one night many years ago and it just tended to stick with me. When I heard they were doing a remake, followed so closely on the heels of the April Fool’s Day remake, which completely sucked, I was less than excited.

In all honesty, My Bloody Valentine 3-D isn’t a terrible movie by any means, it’s actually fairly good. Thanks to “Supernatural”, I’ve developed a crush on Jensen Ackles and seeing him on the big screen is usually a treat. I will say that I despised the Sarah character and wish they had cast someone else. Jamie King isn’t a very good actress unless she’s playing an airhead and I kept picking up that kind of vibe from her. Someone else could have done a better job.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D isn’t going to replace the original on my list, but it was a good movie, especially for a modern day horror movie. I did like some of the 3-D elements, but it would have been just as good without them. Plus I’m all for that kind of ending, thought they might try and do something else towards the end, but then they rolled right back into expected territory.

While checking out horror movie news, I came across a little tidbit. Apparently Children of the Corn is being remade. That’s not too surprising considering that every movie under the sun is getting a remake nowadays. In fact, when I wrote my review of the original Children of the Corn, I even commented that I was surprised this movie hadn’t been remade and that it could probably do with a remake.

The surprising part is that it’s being remade straight for television. The casting’s already begun, complete with an actor from Amusement (soon to be reviewed). It will air on the Sci-Fi Channel, most likely at some point this year, though probably not until 2010. It seems a little surprising to me that they’d remake this movie and go through all that trouble, but only to do it for television. It will at least be interesting to see what they do and how much they change…

Not too bad.

PLOT

Melissa George plays a female detective trapped in an old boy’s network full of men who love to make her feel stupid. They find the body of a pregnant woman electrocuted in the river and they start to investigate after realizing she’s the girlfriend of a local gang member. The gang banger turns up dead in a way that he definitely couldn’t do on his own and things get even more confusing. Then other people begin turning up, all with weird symbols drawn into their bodies. Their investigation leads them to a doctor doing experiments on something known as the killing gene, a genetic trait in some animals and people that makes them kill. It turns out that someone else is running an experiment of their own…

TRIVIA

Also known as W Delta Z.

THOUGHTS

I actually wasn’t too sure what to expect when I popped this in the DVD player, but it was actually pretty good. The ending was a little odd and unexpected, but it was actually better than I expected. Despite all the actors flying around, the real highlight was Selma Blair. I’ve liked her for a long time and I basically forgot she was even in this movie. When she finally turned up, I was really drawn into her role. She does a great job of playing vulnerable, crazy and fucked up all at the same time. I was starting to give up on the Dimension Extreme line, but this one makes me want to give it another shot.

Did we really need this?

PLOT

A group of highly irritating young people head off to Crystal Lake where they engage in randy little hijinks until Jason decides to make his appearance, wearing a bag over his head. Of course he kills the whole group and 20 minutes later we get to the title sequence. Now we have Clay, looking for his sister who disappeared as part of that same group. Another group of young people are partying at Crystal Lake and of course Jason decides to pop up and start dispatching with them too.

TRIVIA

Though it was originally slated as a remake of the first movie, the writers actually combined parts of the first three movies for the finished project.

THOUGHTS

I think I was forced to watch this with the biggest group of idiots in history. Every time they played the music, they started cheering and they laughed like hyenas at the stupidest jokes ever. I also had to deal with a group of teenage girls who screamed literally every ten minutes and at one point, one of the girls said “it’s not even scary, but you have to scream at this kind of movie”. Here’s an idea…don’t go to these kind of fucking movies! Sorry for that little rant.

I’m not really sure what to say here. It was an okay movie, but did we really need it? Everything in the movie, including the kill scenes, felt like something I’d seen before. I was waiting for something new and unusual to happen and it never did. Plus there was that horrible sex scene right in the middle that just made me wince. Note to guys out there “you have perfect nipple placement” is not a real turn on. At least Jared Padelacki turned up and I have a thing for tall guys so I was mildly happy. It wasn’t horrible by any means, but I guess I expected it to at least have offer something new.