Jan 08 2009
CLOVERFIELD
Ack…
THE PLOT
A group of young, pretty twenty somethings are at a going away party for their friend Rob. At the party though a monster (or something, you don’t know it’s a monster yet) attacks the city and insanity ensues. Even though he should be running for his life, Rob decides to rescue his kind of girlfriend/kind of friend with benefits. Of course if he had just left the movie would have been a lot shorter. You know I like you and you bring someone else to my party though and I’m leaving your ass to get ate by the monster. That’s basically the point of the movie, young pretty people on the run from a big monster we never really see.
TRIVIA
The movie had two “hidden” names during filming to keep people from hearing any details: Slusho and Cheese.
THOUGHTS/OPINONS
I had to think long and hard about posting this review up on the site. Granted this isn’t your typical horror movie, but it is a modern day creature feature. If you loved this movie and I know a lot of people did, you should stop reading now and just leave because you aren’t going to like what I have to say.
This is the biggest waste of film I’ve seen in a long time and this is coming from someone who saw probably 75% of the straight to video horror movies made during the 1990s. Every single possible thing about this movie irritates me, starting with the horrible characters. They toss a bunch of young, pretty people in a crowded room and somehow we’re supposed to care about them and hope they make it out alive. I just wanted them to die and die a lot sooner than they did.
It’s clear that the use of New York City was only done for shock value. Following 9/11 anything destructive to the area would seem horrible. Would you have loved this movie so much if it was based in Los Angeles or Wichita? Had their been a single female in this movie that wore a size 6 or larger, would you have been as interested?
This is such a piece of garbage that by the time the monster appeared, I just didn’t care. I wanted everyone to get eaten so the movie would just end. There’s also the camera angles and camera work that made me want to rip my hair out. I get that you’re trying to make it realistic, but all you’re doing is making me want to smack someone.
I hated this movie, absolutely hated it. I have no desire to see it again and even if you offered me a free copy, I’d give it back to you.
hahahahahahahahahaha ~ while I didn’t hate it as much as you did, I still gave it “the most disappointing movie of 2008″ in my Bone Breaker Awards
Thank you, thank you. I thought this movie was the crappiest piece of crap that’s ever been crapped.
I’m glad somebody actually agrees with me!
For about 80 minutes I watched the following:
1.) Hipsters acting like freakin hipsters and making hipster references for the YouTube crowd
2.) Hipsters running away from the big, giant lobster monster
3.) Hipsters in love doing dumb sh** to move the plot along
4.) Hipsters reading off of a very badly written script and making corny hipster jokes
5.) Hipsters making a mockery of the subway system (Spring to fuckin Lexington? WTF?)
6.) Hipsters acting like a big giant space monster isn’t important enough to film while on a rooftop that gives you clear view of the freakin thing
7.) Hipsters dying (that was my favorite part of the movie)
I got caught up in the hype, watched the movie, felt nauseous during and after I watched it.
the jaded viewer
Oh man, the guy that went back for the girl? Sorry, but I would have left her ass there:) No patience for the stupid people lol.
I didn’t love it or I didn’t hate it. Some of the beginning of it was stupid. I agree about the usual stereotypical size 6 bimbos though. I thought that it was interesting and I liked the monster in it. It would not be one that I would pay for though and I don’t really think that I would watch it again. I am a huge horror movie fan and I have seen so many cheaply made horrors that would be better than this any day. As I said, I am somwhere in the middle. Don’t hate it as much as you do but I wouldn’t be praising it either.