Jan 02 2009
GUINEA PIG 3: HE NEVER DIES
I’m not even going to attempt to say/write the foreign name of this one!
THE PLOT
Masatosh is devastated when his girlfriend dumps him, so devastated that he decides the only option is to kill himself. Unfortunately he’s something of a wimp and when the movie opens, he tries to slit his wrists but stops because he can’t handle the pain. He then puts on a punk record to set the mood and flashes back to his life. He worked at a menial job and hated every aspect of his life. After his girlfriend dumps him, he holes up in his apartment for four days, not leaving even once and starts to act a little crazy: talking to the television, drawing people on his feet and basically just loses his mind. He slits his wrist and realizes that the bleeding stops quickly and that he can’t feel anything. To test his theory that he can’t die he does a variety of things including stabbing himself with a pen. Then he decides to payback his ex-girlfriend with his newfound abilities.
FUN TRIVIA
Also billed as Guinea Pig Part 3 in some areas.
THOUGHTS/OPINIONS
This was an odd little movie. He Never Dies isn’t quite a horror movie, but more of a parody. There is some blood, but not that much considering how much he actually does to himself and all the characters are fairly one dimensional. There is one scene where Masatosh calls for help only to have them think he’s crazy and then talks to himself about who else he can call. His decision not to call one friend because he “has a bad back” was mildly humorous.
One minor thing: Masatosh calls a friend who’s just had sex in a twin bed (which oddly enough, I’ve never done) and discovers that his friend is sleeping with his former love. As they talk the girl gets up and gets dressed, and even puts back on her pantyhose. Really? Does any woman actually do that or am I the only one that would leave those suckers balled up on the floor? Ah, guess it doesn’t really matter since I prefer the bare look.
The ending is a little funny, especially since one of the actors spends 5 minutes in a rubber Elvis mask, but it really isn’t anything special. The movie isn’t very good and it doesn’t have a whole lot going for it. When Masatosh’s head was sitting on the table and still talking though, that was a pretty good scene. Oh well, at least it’s a short movie.
