Horror Queen

THE PLOT

I could give you the plot, but I honestly have no clue what happened. There were two guys who found themselves in a hospital of some sort and one got bit. Then a group of people showed up and killed the one guy because he was infected and carried off the other guy. Then there was something about a witch in the woods and Lance Henriksen (who looks like he’s lost way too much weight) pops up and Danny Trejo’s in there too.

TRIVIA

Follows the Christian Slater movie Alone in the Dark, which was based on a video game.

THOUGHTS/OPINIONS

Sometimes I think my brain stops working. That’s the only reason why I can explain sitting through a piece of garbage like Alone in the Dark 2. It’s a sequel to a movie I already own, but it wasn’t until halfway through the movie that I realized I was confusing another straight to video Christian Slater movie with Alone in the Dark. The other one was that serial killer one with Val Kilmer and the FBI and I’m pretty sure LL Cool J was in it, but I digress.

Alone in the Dark 2 is absolutely terrible. The hot Asian guy from Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift was in it and I couldn’t pay attention. Lance Henriksen (god do I ever love that guy) from “Millennium” (loved that show too!) was in it and I still couldn’t pay attention. I ended up fast forwarding through large chunks of the movie and then I finally gave up.

Yes, you read that right, the Horror Queen gave up. With 20 minutes left in the movie, I calmly turned it off and came right here to write my review. I just couldn’t sit through the horrible acting, bad special effects and plot holes any longer. Oddly enough I then read that the movie isn’t supposed to be released until 2009 so I’m going to just pretend I didn’t see it. Poor Lance Henriksen, he probably wishes he had never seen the script. Instead of posting a picture of the movie, I almost posted a picture of Christian Slater back when he was hot. Oh well, at least he had the sense to stay away from this piece of crap…