Horror Queen

THE PLOT

A little boy sees his parents brutally shot down in front of him. Well supposedly they’re his parents, but I have my doubts. They’re going at it pretty hardcore and I haven’t seen a married couple this frisky since…ever, or at least until I get married one day. Anyway the film then picks up in 2004. A college student comes home for the summer and finds herself falling for her little brother’s best friend. Of course this happens over the course of one afternoon and suddenly they’re in love, but I digress. Her brother is something of a prankster, though his practical jokes only involve moving signs in town and stuffing the mailbox full of jelly. Then there’s a new mailman that apparently likes to kill people. He also likes jokes of his own like telling the brother that he’s adopted. Then suddenly the movie veers into a weird incestuous storyline with the brother following around the sister who he now wants to fuck and doing weird things with his girlfriend.

THE GOOD

Actually I found myself digging the soundtrack to this movie. It’s a little bit hard rock, with some soft rock thrown in during the “love scenes”, though the soft rock sounds more like Christian rock to me. I also thought some of the acting was pretty good, definitely better than I’ve seen in other straight to DVD releases. Plus you get some not too terrible love scenes tossed in as well, very reminiscent of soft core porn. Unfortunately they cut off before things get too graphic. Apparently the lead actress had a clause that she wouldn’t take her clothes off and all the other girls forgot to sign that.

THE BAD

The kill scenes were less than stellar. The director tried to take a Hooper line and show only a few things, but it doesn’t really work. The mailman goes to stab one girl and the camera fades in on a new scene. It was almost like watching an edited for television movie, only without the commercial breaks. There’s also some terrible lighting in this movie, like they hired someone who had no experience and told him to learn how to light a movie on the fly. Keep an eye out for the “high school girls” with the fakest tits I’ve seen in a long time. Also one of the worst girl on girl sequences I’ve seen in a long time. Lots of nudity, and yet very little touching if at all. I actually burst out laughing when the one woman was “going down” on the other and had her face three feet away.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Yeah so this wasn’t horrible. I’m obsessed with watching movies from Netflix on my computer and when this popped us as one of my “matches” I went ahead and watched it. I wasn’t expecting a whole lot, which was good because it didn’t deliver a whole lot. Given that it was made with a low budget and people who have probably never acted before though, I’d have to say they did an okay job. I won’t be watching it again, but I won’t complain too much either.